LETTER: Imagine a place called 'Prosperity'

Jul. 19, 2013 @ 04:58 AM

To the Editor:

A new concept in residential and land-use planning is coming to Lee County that is especially tailored to those of us who share the same ideals. Our investors have instructed me to make no references to specific individuals, ethnic or religious groups or political parties. Let us call this place Prosperity.

Prosperity will be entirely fenced for border security. The lots, preferably, will be sold without mineral rights so that residents can pool their land resources and make a fortune in gas exploration. As an added bonus, we are working on a process to capture a portion of the hydraulic fluid used in fracking since it has been discovered that two tablespoons of this liquid will produce the same results as one gallon of the liquid consumed in traditional colonoscopies.

City and county taxes will be waived in this special district, and no services will be provided. Obamacare, Medicare, Medicaid and all forms of social welfare will be banned among residents. Each resident will receive FOX News free of charge. Second Amendment rights will be strictly enforced, with shoulder-fired rockets, machine guns and the very latest in weaponry approved for use within the confines of the community. There will be no government regulations. Residents may drive at any speed. Golf is prohibited, and golf clubs may be confiscated.

Children will be home schooled or attend a charter within the neighborhood, but no technology will be utilized as a teaching tool. Students shall be required to submit assignments in cursive and be proficient in sums, times tables and long division.

Residents may vote in county, state and national elections. The date and time for voting will be disclosed after the election.

Prosperity will have its own judicial system with judges selected by party affiliation without regard for their educational and professional qualifications.

As always, I, too, shall remain in search of liberty,

Sandy High